Saturday, February 12, 2011
One of the most profound things that happened to me whilst I was in Korea was the experience of having a baby. I found out I was pregnant when I was in South Africa on a vacation break, but I spent almost my entire pregnancy in Korea and gave birth here. As all moms know, having a baby is a traumatic, life-changing experience and having a support system (usually your family) around you is almost as important as having a good gynaecologist. Doing this in a foreign country is hard. Doing it in a country where most people don't speak any English is crazy!
I had a Korean friend accompany me to all of my doctor's appointments and she was there for me at the birth, but one of the important things she neglected to inform me about was that in Korea, when you have a baby, there's no midwife to help you afterwards. You should have a female relative come with you, who will help you with cleaning up, going to the bathroom, changing, and (paramount of all) get your milk flow going. I was really let down in this respect, and although, after several days of floundering around in my ignorance, I did manage to get a trickle going, my baby didn't latch on successfully and, quite frankly, rejected my breast milk. I firmly believe that by then he favoured formula milk and I didn't spend enough time encouraging him to breastfeed. I didn't have a cheerleader to help me with this and I just gave up. It's a big issue with me. Even though my son is perfectly healthy, has never been seriously ill, has no allergies and is an active, wonderful little boy, I still regret, and feel guilty about, the way I was so ill-equipped to breastfeed. I think this guilt is irrational but I can't let it go. I guess I feel like it's a failure on my part because I was so unprepared and just didn't do enough. Added to this is the fact that I had to undergo an unexpected, emergency C-section, which I was totally unprepared for. So, basically nothing went the way I thought it would and it really got to me.
Another thing is, at that time, I wasn't very knowledgeable about internet shopping in Korea, so I didn't have a lot of the items available to internet-savvy new moms . We didn't have a car at that time, and the nearest Costco was in Daegu. Actually I didn't even know about Costco back then! So whenever I see that little vibrating bouncy chair for babies, my guilt rises to the surface again and I choke back a few tears.
I console myself with the fact that we did the best we could with what we had and I thank God every day for my sister-in-law and my mom who travelled all the way to Korea to help me take care of my babe. Those days we had together are truly priceless.
My son has had a wonderful life growing up in Korea, so I certainly feel a whole lot better whenever I look at him and realise how lucky I am to have such a wonderful boy.
He's five now, and he'll be starting all over again when we get back to South Africa. It's a whole new life for all of us and we are looking forward to it with excitement and a little nervousness.
What I look forward to most is finally having that family/friends support system around us. That is all that matters to me now. Being surrounded by people who love us and speak the same language!
I had a Korean friend accompany me to all of my doctor's appointments and she was there for me at the birth, but one of the important things she neglected to inform me about was that in Korea, when you have a baby, there's no midwife to help you afterwards. You should have a female relative come with you, who will help you with cleaning up, going to the bathroom, changing, and (paramount of all) get your milk flow going. I was really let down in this respect, and although, after several days of floundering around in my ignorance, I did manage to get a trickle going, my baby didn't latch on successfully and, quite frankly, rejected my breast milk. I firmly believe that by then he favoured formula milk and I didn't spend enough time encouraging him to breastfeed. I didn't have a cheerleader to help me with this and I just gave up. It's a big issue with me. Even though my son is perfectly healthy, has never been seriously ill, has no allergies and is an active, wonderful little boy, I still regret, and feel guilty about, the way I was so ill-equipped to breastfeed. I think this guilt is irrational but I can't let it go. I guess I feel like it's a failure on my part because I was so unprepared and just didn't do enough. Added to this is the fact that I had to undergo an unexpected, emergency C-section, which I was totally unprepared for. So, basically nothing went the way I thought it would and it really got to me.
Another thing is, at that time, I wasn't very knowledgeable about internet shopping in Korea, so I didn't have a lot of the items available to internet-savvy new moms . We didn't have a car at that time, and the nearest Costco was in Daegu. Actually I didn't even know about Costco back then! So whenever I see that little vibrating bouncy chair for babies, my guilt rises to the surface again and I choke back a few tears.
I console myself with the fact that we did the best we could with what we had and I thank God every day for my sister-in-law and my mom who travelled all the way to Korea to help me take care of my babe. Those days we had together are truly priceless.
My son has had a wonderful life growing up in Korea, so I certainly feel a whole lot better whenever I look at him and realise how lucky I am to have such a wonderful boy.
He's five now, and he'll be starting all over again when we get back to South Africa. It's a whole new life for all of us and we are looking forward to it with excitement and a little nervousness.
What I look forward to most is finally having that family/friends support system around us. That is all that matters to me now. Being surrounded by people who love us and speak the same language!
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